Output (lack of) – Rambling (profusion of)

2006 05 24 00:19

Haven’t been a model citizen of the blogosphere for a while. Busy busy busy. Pour faire changement (note the classic québécois ironic expression).

Running around everywhere, getting little sleep, trying to hold on to what some would call crazy illusions. But hey, that’s me in a nutshell. Remember all the crazy things I made you do? The fear of the unknown? And they succeed? I live with that fear, I scoff at it. Peuh! But trying to ignore it would be stupid. You have to respect that fear, but not let it take over your actions. Because that’s when you stop going forward.

All this «it’s never gonna work» nonsense, it’s just that. Nonsense. It WILL work if you MAKE IT work. Simple as that really. Yeah I’m scared, but not the same way you would be scared. Not at the same things. Maybe having kids taught me that all things will pass. Life and things are but temporary coincidences. It’s really nothing special. One day it won’t be there anymore. Good things, bad things, pleasure, pain, they all end at some point.

I learned that when my beautiful baby tore apart a beautiful mint condition comic book. She had such cute eyes, such a beautiful laugh. Nature wins.

Right now, trying to move out of this house, and into a huge loft (lots of work before that’s a reality), dealing with new loss (argh, 20 inch cinema screen! why have you left me once again!!! I barely got to know you!!!!!), indifference (hey, insurance dude, how come you sound like all you want to do is hang up the phone? isn’t this your, uh, JOB?), the great unknown (does the heating system actually work?) and of course, everyone’s favorite: money. Or lack of sufficient quantities thereof. Tried the lotto. Won 2 bucks.

Woo.Hoo.

Maybe all this effort will pay off.

Hey, there’s only one way to find out.

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